


In The Dark

by GrumpyQueer



Category: Ripper Street
Genre: Deborah Goren - Freeform, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Extramarital Affairs, F/M, Forbidden Love, Hurt/Comfort, edmund reid - Freeform, ripper street - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-01
Updated: 2018-03-01
Packaged: 2019-03-25 12:24:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13834233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GrumpyQueer/pseuds/GrumpyQueer
Summary: This fic explores Edmund and Deborah's affair, told from each of their perspectives.There is some light smut, commencing around the halfway mark.Many thanks to Avatoh for this prompt!





	In The Dark

**Author's Note:**

> I hope the format is not too confusing. 
> 
> It starts with Edmund recounting events, then switches to Deborah's account, and so on and so forth, as the plot goes on.

**_Edmund_  
**

We had just finished our vodka when I thanked her, most of all for listening. For understanding my hope - my _conviction_ \- that my daughter still be alive, lost to me, but somewhere, out there in those evil streets. Somehow, Deborah had not even an ounce of incredulity, simply nodding, and trying to kindly assert that I could, in no way, be held responsible for Mathilda’s disappearance. How I wished that were so. 

As I was saying goodbye, I tried with all my might not to turn and look at her as I headed for the door, knowing I desired nothing more, in that moment, than to kiss her - to hold her and feel understood, connected. But she asked me why she deserved my thanks, doing so in such a sincere tone and manner. I marvelled for a moment; how could she not know? I turned to answer, but could not find the words. She smiled softly at me, her soulful eyes, some strands of her black hair curling about her face. Her cheeks were quite flush, and, still speechless, I stared down at her lips, in awe.

She seemed a little taken aback when I lunged forth and kissed her next, and I feared that I had been too rigorous in expressing my passion. But she quickly wrapped her hands around my neck and held me close, our kiss intensifying. For several weeks, I had thought of this moment, aching to be able to kiss her. I felt myself go fierce hot at the realisation, the skin on my face and neck burning, her hand caressing my cheek. Her lips were soft and warm, so welcoming, and our tongues keenly pressed. Truly, I had forgotten how this felt.

My hand slid down her back and I longed to ease her over towards the table, envisioning the two of us making love right there, uncontained. I knew she must have been aware of how excited I had become, as I was unable to hide myself, instead allowing it to rub against her hip. She pushed closer, yet.

Bennet’s sudden arrival startled me, and Deborah quickly pulled back from our embrace the moment his figure appeared in the doorframe. I saw her, in the corner of my eye, raise her hand to her mouth in disbelief once she noticed that one of her children, also, had witnessed our interaction. After a long pause, Bennet spoke on matters of the Morris case. I nodded at his words, barely taking them in, far too aware of the look of utter bemusement, and betrayal, upon his face. I clutched at my bowler in my hand, avoiding eye contact, gazing towards the dusty floors.

Once Bennet had left, his footsteps still echoing down the hall, Deborah briefly turned to look at me, but swiftly glanced away the moment our eyes met. She seemed shy - reserved, now. I stared at her, my desire still present, wanting to step forth and kiss her goodbye, or to offer her some comfort and to let her know that what had just occurred between us, I meant sincerely and could not regret. Instead, I left the silence, twisting my bowler back onto my head, and striding back towards the street.

***

**_Deborah  
_ **

I had heard of the young Constable lost to H-Division, and my thoughts quickly turned to Edmund. So much loss, and pain, already that he faced. I knew he would not handle such a thing easily. We had not spoken since… since he had last visited me at the orphanage - since Sargeant Drake stumbled upon us. I cannot deny my sense of shame, caused by the nature of our transgressions, but also, the fact that I have knowingly spent time wondering when I would see Edmund again, and under what circumstances. I should not be thinking such thoughts over a married man, and this I know, yet…

When I heard the three knocks at the door, and so late in the evening, also, I had little doubt over who it would be. Uponing opening, I found Edmund standing there, hunched over, looking lost and rather afraid. His eyes were red, and glassy. I paused, and we stared at one another, until I stepped forth and instinctively raised my hand to his stroke his cheek. He closed his eyes and breathed slowly under my touch, leaning closer toward me. It was clear that he had not shaven in some days, the stubble prickling my skin as my hand reached toward his chin.

Without much thought, I turned and Edmund followed me inside, my lone candle lighting our steps. We treaded quietly, aware of the children sleeping in their bunks only just down the hall. Once we reached my chambers, he slipped behind me and stood near my bed, watching me as I closed the door behind, shutting out prying eyes. I placed my candle down on the table, feeling his gaze upon my skin, and already - in some ways - I wondered how we would get ourselves out of this mess. Yet, for reasons unknown, I seemed to have no intention of stopping us from committing this act. It seemed neither of us did.

Edmund removed his coat, and stepped towards me, taking my hands in his. He moved so graciously, this time - not at all like our shamed kiss, where his passions seemed to spill over all at once. I expected him to lead us straight to my bed, but instead, he remained standing, and eased me in for a close embrace, nestling his cheek against mine. I closed my eyes, enjoying his warmth and protection, the feeling of being held. When I heard his gentle sobs, I pressed myself closer to him, running my hand through his hair to let him know I was there. His shoulders shuddered as he continued, and I could not help but cry with him. The Inspector was, of course, a big and powerful man, but that did not mean he could not feel broken. 

We remained in that embrace some moments more, a peaceful stillness following Edmund’s cries. He then turned and brought his lips down to meet mine, looking me in the eyes before kissing me softly, each kiss growing more and more impassioned. His hands went to my waist, clutching at my corset, stepping backwards towards my bed, bringing me with him. Carefully, he lifted me on top, delving in to kiss my neck, his moans vibrating against my skin. “Deborah”, he whispered. The rich tone of his voice stirred great anticipation within me. I unbuttoned his shirt, running my hands across his chest, until he repositioned me onto my back, sliding himself down and removing my undergarments with his teeth.  
  
*** 

**_Edmund_ **

The groans she made as I worked between her legs were thoroughly intoxicating. Rarely had I done such an act, if truth be told, but Deborah had matched my desire. Her hands ran through my hair, occasionally grabbing on, occasionally demanding more - or simply telling me not to stop. When she whispered my name, and confirmed her pleasure, I felt myself come close to losing control. I could not recall the last time I had been quite this hard - so hard that the sensation was an unbearable bliss.

As wrong as I knew it were, I had a few fleeting thoughts of Emily, and how we had not touched one another for many months, now. But I quickly pushed any such thoughts out of mind, and remained steadfast on bringing Deborah to her full completion. Her breathing continued to quicken as I kissed deeper, dragging a breathy kiss across her inner thigh, taking in the smell of her dewy, hot skin.

When she came, she covered her mouth so as to stop herself from emitting too loud of a moan. I pulled myself up and watched as she panted, her cheeks a vibrant blush. It brought me happiness to see her relaxed so entirely, her hands now slumped above her head, pressing into the pillows. For a moment after the act, it seemed she would not look at me, and I felt a pang of panic. After regaining her composure, however, she moved nearer and placed her head upon my chest, giving me a demure, yet satisfied, smile. I soon felt her hand ease down to undo my trousers, almost teasingly rubbing at my erection. The euphoria of that touch… my goodness. I had to remind myself not to profess my joy too loudly, though it were a challenge indeed.

She began rubbing me with a little more speed, as I squirmed in pleasure, her thumb gently encircling the head of my cock. I threw my head backward, truly forgetting how to cope with such pleasure, mumbling incoherencies to myself in some form of daze. Next, I noticed she was sat lower down the bed, her hair down and her curls beautiful and buoyant. I stared at her, astounded by her effortless beauty, her calm sensuality. She smiled back at me and dipped down, taking me wholly in her mouth. Regardless of my attempts to contain such, I gasped and exclaimed an expletive. I bucked my hips towards her as she kissed up and down, swirling her tongue everywhere she traced. I’m ashamed to say that I did not last beyond this, coming almost immediately.  
  
Of course, Deborah responded with her usual kindness and compassion, reassuring me that it was to be expected. It took me some time to regain myself, however, with my heart still racing and the breath sucked from my lungs. A moment later, she handed me a glass of whiskey, then sat at the edge of the bed, taking off the rest of her clothes. I could not part my eyes from her skin - so bare and beautiful in the candlelight.

***

**_Deborah_  
**

I looked over my shoulder, to see Edmund leaning back in my bed. He looked handsome and rugged, his eyes bright and wide, fixated upon me. My dress had fallen down by my feet, so I stood to face him, feeling myself blush. He sighed, touching his stubble, his gaze alternating eagerly between my eyes and breasts. “Dear me”, he whispered, edging closer, pulling me back towards him. I smiled as he planted kisses upon my cheek, nestling up close to me once more, longing - it seemed - to be held.

We sunk back into the mattress, and sat in silent embrace, watching the dying candlelight cascade across the walls. As I was sat upon his lap, it was difficult not to notice his returned vigour. I felt the pronounced excitement press against my backside, noticed the heaviness return to his whiskey breath as he nibbled at my ear.

Myself now yearning, I turned around and slipped off his undone trousers, then carefully removed the shirt that still clung to his shoulders. Somehow, amidst all of this, I had forgotten of his scar, and stared at it in astonishment the moment it was revealed to me again. It was not the size, nor the appearance, which shocked me. Rather, it was the knowledge of how it came to be, of what it represented, and the enormous hole that had created in the Inspector’s life. For the first time in our encounter, I found myself sincerely thinking of his wife, with whom he shared a missing daughter, and of course - this I, and all of Whitechapel, knew. I faced the reality that I was, now, a mistress, and I wanted to believe that such a thing should not sit well with me.

Edmund began kissing my breasts and neck with such fervour, that it tingled my very spine, until I forced myself to demand that he stopped. He promptly paused, looking up to face me, worry in his eyes and skin red with passion. “Is… is there something the matter, Deborah?” I wanted to tell him that I was disgraced by our actions, and that I felt devastated over the betrayal this was to his wife. I searched within me for the initiative - seeking for the part of myself which still held my faith close to my heart - yet I knew to turn him away would be a lie. In truth, I felt it not my place to dictate the actions of a married man, and though I felt conflicted over the morality of our doings, I also had an undeniable desire to be with him. 

Our eyes remained locked, and he nodded as if he knew exactly the process of my thoughts - as if he, too, had thought through the same concerns on this night. I released the thought, and pulled him close, kissing him with a fierce passion. My legs wrapped around him, hungry for him to enter me, humming at the heavenly bliss of that first moment - our utter carelessness. Together, we gasped and moaned, my bed creaking underneath us, Edmund wildly thrusting back and forth. I dangled my arms around his neck and caressed his skin, and he pressed his forehead gently against mine.

Soon, the room smelled of our sweat and sex, our noises rhythmic and deep. I suddenly feared the love I felt for him, the sensuality we exchanged - the way he was driven to bring me to higher pleasure, tenderly kissing me all over, occasionally working his hands through my hair. He grunted much like an animal would, yet he looked at me with loving, sad eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading. Feedback is always welcome.


End file.
